When I was born in January of 1982, my parents brought me home. Their home. The first home they owned as a newly married couple. It was this darling little 1920's pad on a half-acre of land. To this day, my parents still live there. 34-ish years of a place to call home. It's undergone many facelifts, but the history. the love. the family is still ingrained in the walls. you can't erase memory. no matter how often the paint color or furniture changes. My dad used to joke that he was going to put a door to the front yard in my bedroom so me and my future husband and children could live there forever. I always kind of thought it was a good idea. I'm not going to lie. I love home. I love comfort and security and familiarity.
So it's really amazing to me, that I've undergone 7 moves in my 5 years of marriage. Number 8 is right around the corner. How not cool, for someone like me. You see, I invest myself. Wherever I go. I invest. I make meaningful friendships. I get involved. I become settled. Because, well there is something comfortable about community and friendships and living. So when I move. I'm sad. I'm sad for there to be a change in a routine and in relationships that I've grown to love and appreciate.
This move. From Reno to So Cal is especially bittersweet. I'm heading to a place that really epitomizes home. I grew up there. My family is there, my childhood friends are there. I've spent 26 of my 28 years of life there.....so the anticipation of reuniting is joyful. But in order to be there, I have to leave here. This past year has been awesome (and trust me when I say....most people in my shoes would NOT characterize this year as awesome!). You see, 2009 was our most trying year of marriage. Trei and I faced a lot of discouraging and emotional and scary things. I look back on my journals, and am reminded of how often I felt like we were drowning. How often, I pleaded with God for some steady ground. But God is good, and despite all of the fear and unknown, He had a plan. God redeemed all of that "loss", the material loss with fulfilling friendships. He gave us friends to carry us through the difficult times. To watch our kids so we could have date nights. To invite is over for dinner and keep us laughing until the wee hours of the morning. To share our passions with. Friends from unexpected places. From familiar places. Friends from middle school. Friends from over the internet. Friends who shared in our sorrow and our joy. Friends who love us. Love our kids. These things are not easy to find....yet, we did. And we let our roots dig deep into soil that was rich in love. And love. Love endures all things. Love is steady ground.
And now, we have to say goodbye. Heading towards that which excites us, but leaving that which excites us. And it seems so very unfair. Selfishly, I want both worlds. I want all the people that fill my heart and soul with happiness to be within miles of me. I want lunch with my mom and sister, or family dinners and the next day, Starbucks and a playdate followed by an inspiring photo session with my awesome girlfriends.
But instead of grieving my loss, I'm trying to soak in the few days I have left. Looking forward to what's ahead, and cherishing with everything that I am, this past year. The time I've had with friends that I love dearly. Friends that have helped me to grow and succeed and be a better wife and mom. I will never forget 2009. And not because it was a year of struggle...but because it was a year of redemption. A year of purpose and laughter and truly understanding what is really important at the end of the day.
thank you. you all know who you are.
Love, Me
