La Vita E Bella

What to do, What to do....

I am feeling very discouraged right now. I try to keep my posts happy if possible - but right now I'm not exactly feeling happy. It seems like nothing is working in my favor lately. I understand that is life, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. My brother ended up getting a roommate early, so Trei has to be out of his apartment by June 1st. As of now, he has nowhere to live, so theres a big possibility he'll be moving back to Reno which is really devastating to me. The last thing that I want right now in my life is for Trei to go to Reno. We still have to finish out our pre-marrieds class, plan the remainder of the wedding, and enjoy eachother company. We'll be in Reno next week, and Trei will drive back to LA with me at the end of the trip. He's planning on staying down here a week or two to see if he can find a place - if not, he'll have to head back to Reno for good. We have been looking high and low for a place for him to live - and it seems hopeless. Most people want a lease, or won't allow a puppy sometimes. It's so discouraging. I'm just feeling alone already - and he hasn't even left yet. Which brings me to another point of discouragement....

When we got Blue, we had planned that Trei would be in his apartment until August. Since he's leaving sooner, and unless he finds a place down here that allows puppies - him and my parents have told me that I'll have to sell him!!! My parents don't want him to live here with me, and Trei's parents don't want him in Reno - so basically, this puppy that I've had for 2 months now, and have fallen in love with will have to be someone elses dog, and I'm sick over it. Again, I understand that this is life - but can't there be some bending - just for the next few months so I can keep my dog!!! I haven't cried yet over this - but the tears will come soon. I feel helpless to the situation. I don't have a magic wand that I can rattle in order to get the outcome I need. I just get to sit back and watch things unfold whether I want them to or not. I said that if worse came to worse - I'd move out for the next few months to keep the dog - but I know that is completely ridiculous, and if Trei can't find a place, how am I? But when it comes down to it - I don't want to sell my dog. He's mine, and I kind of have an attachment to him, and don't want him to leave. Come June 15th - I could be alone without my two favorite boys. What a crappy situation!

So if you know anyone who would love to house my fiance until August 15th - and doesn't mind a puppy, or you know someone who loves a wild little puppy enough to house him until August 15th - LET ME KNOW. Or if you don't know either of those people, pray for me. I know it must seem silly, of all things for me to feel sad about. But when I got this dog - I put my heart into him. I assumed he would be with me for a long time. Not given away when things got tough. Anyway, I need to sleep. But please, pray that Trei will find a place to live, and that I won't have to sell Blue. I might have an emotional breakdown.

Well I hope everyone is having a great day. I'll write of brighter things tomorrow. Love you all.

Me

Approval

Although this picture has nothing to do with my post - I couldn't resist putting it up. It is too darn cute to pass up. My two favorite boys :)

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

I read this verse the other day, and for some reason it really jumped out at me. A reminder of things that I have always believed in - but not always lived by.

What was I thinking.....

Yesterday I bought a REALLY cute pair of Coach sunglasses. They look good alone, or on my face. I was smitten with them - so I bought them.

As I was driving home....I realized something.....

"I'm wearing 160 dollar bills on my face! What the h*ll was I thinking!!!!"

So today, I'm going back to Nordstrom, to say goodbye to my beautiful sunglasses, and hello to my 160 dollar bills.

Just Watched...

"In America". It was one of the best movies I have seen in a very, very long time.

The synopsis reads:

With their two young daughters in tow, Johnny and Sarah emigrate from Ireland to New York City in pursuit of a dream. The family uses ingenuity and sheer strength of will to make the most of their new life. Ultimately it is their kindness to a stranger and that stranger's response in return that builds their new home.

The movies characters were captivating and emotional. The story line real, and endearing. I laughed and I cried, it really was an amazing film.

Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee....

I've been feeling very alone lately. I'm really battling to understand people, and the way they think - especially when it's so so different from how I see it.

The situation doesn't directly involve me - but it does indirectly - and so I'm pulled into the emotions of it all whether I want to or not - and I'm feeling desperate for resolution.

Lord, please bring closure to this situation. It's been eating me up for days now, and I feel like I'm going to explode. I feel like I can't breath. I feel like I can't be happy. I need for you to lift this burden off my shoulders. I need to know that his is in your hands. Lord, It's yours, I don't want to worry about it anymore. I give it to you.

Recent Pictures of Blue...

WEDDING PLANS - Part VII

109 days, 6 hours, 34 minutes, and 13, 12, 11, 10.....seconds until I'll be walking down the aisle. And to be completely honest....I am so anxious, and excited, and ready, sometimes I feel like I can't wait that long! :) I'm ready to be Mrs. Vossler, I'm ready for a honeymoon in Hawaii, I'm ready to move to Reno, I'm just ready. Plain and simple.

Hanging in a room in my house is my wedding dress, the wedding shoes are being shipped to me. The earrings are in a beautiful jewelry box in my bedroom, and I've had my hairstyle pictured in my head for so long, that I'm pretty sure I could do it myself. It's amazing the preparation that goes into a wedding. All the money, hard work, and time that goes into one day of your life.

The bridesmaid dresses are in June 1st, and I'm almost as excited to see them as I was to buy my own dress. I got the girls their earrings, and I can't wait to see it all put together. The tuxes are about to be ordered, and the invitation prrofs went back to the company with the okay to print!!!!

So, the only thing left to do is secure the rental company. Otherwise, everything is done! I can hardly believe it. It seems like such a dream, that the reality of it all hasn't really hit me. My bridal shower is in a few weeks. We're having it early because that's when 6 of the 8 bridesmaids can be there. We'll have another small luncheon deal a few days before the wedding so my aunts and grandma can be there, and so Trei's aunts and grandma can be there. I've been sitting here thinking about the bridal shower. I've been to plenty, but never have I actually been the recipient of one. I'm a little nervous. I remember being younger, and thinking the "soon to be brides" were so mature, and beautiful. I really envied them. I wonder if the younger girls who will be there will think those same things, or maybe I was just a freak child.

Oh well, all I know is this. Thank God for wedding planners, Thank God I have parents who wanted to give me a wedding, and Thank God for Trei's family, who have given in other aspects of this huge events - Trei and I are INCREDIBLY BLESSED. There is no other way to put it.

P.S. For those of you who have never seen my ring up close - the picture above, is my exact ring. Beautiful huh!

Give me your opinion!

Well, I'm at a stand still. I can't decide on any music for the wedding. I'm being pulled in the way of traditional music (Trumpet Voluntary, Canon in D), but then part of me wants something a little non-traditional. Maybe a more modern piano piece. See, i just don't know. This is where you, my friend, come in. If you have any suggestions for wedding music (prelude, processional, recessional) please let me know. Even if it's a traditional song that you love.....I'm looking for something beautiful, powerful, and preferably on the piano (none of this harp stuff). Thanks for your advice - I am stuck :)

Where have I been??

I have completely slacked in the writing of this blog, and I am not very happy with myself. It's not that I've been "too busy" - although I have kept myself entertained withy work, gym, wedding stuff, etc - I'm not too busy to sit down and really say whats on my heart. I have appreciated what a release this is for me - and it seems like lately, Satan has really tried to take that from me. I've felt unorganized, stressed, and anxious. I begin to type, and my mind goes blank - even though I have so much I want to get out in the open. It kinda feels like I have ADD!

My life has been fairly mundain lately - even though I've been experiencing emotions that I have never experienced before.

Cheers, to our CRAZY dog!