What started a few months ago, was an attack. An attack on me. It was personal, it was not fair, and it was started to bully me and cause division. Well, it did - and it took me a little while to move beyond it. In fact, I had to do a lot of praying. I knew that the only way I was going to walk beyond this unscathed with my confidence in tact, was to trust that God had the whole situation under control. What do you know.....I moved on. My most important priorities moved to the forefront of my mind - and I moved on. This spurred in me some changes. I began to evaluate everything iin my life, and I didn't want to be held down by responsibilities, and friendships, and thought processes that weren't making me a better person or contributing to my way of life in a better way. I started taking things off my plate - focusing my attention on the few things that really bring me happiness and joy. I've been spending more time with my husband and kids, and less time on the computer. Trei and I started Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey in order to take control of our finances. I began going to the gym four mornings a week in order to take control of my health. I began investing my time in a Moms group and building worthwhile relationships that were filling my spirit. I jumped into a deeper role at church, hoping to nurture and cultivate some new and exciting relationships there. I'm building a photography business that I'm passionate about, networking with other creative individuals who care about the process and success of others as much as they care about their own! I'm cooking more, making difficult sacrifices, learning to enjoy life, and get out, and I'm even playing on a co-ed softball league (which totally scares me!! ha ha)
So, wouldn't that make this the perfect opportunity for the devil to come in and rob me of my joy and distract me from all of the positive things I'm doing in my lfie. Well that's exactly what happened the other night. The situation I moved past just a month ago? The situation I had given to God and moved beyond? Well, it was confronting me again - and this time is was even more personal. I was so discouraged, and hurt, and angry. Like, so angry that I wanted revenge. I didn't want to do my Christian and ethical duties. I wanted revenge.
But you see, that's exactly what the devil wanted me to feel. He wanted me to forget all of the importance in my life - and focus on being angry and revengeful. He wanted me to fall. He wanted me to be angry and spiteful. If there is something the devil hates, it's joy. See, he knows he can't steal us from Jesus. But he can steal our joy. If he can take away all of the things that make us a child of God (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control), then he has placed a wedge between us and our relationship with the Lord. He can't steal us, but he can cause division. But you know what? I refuse. I refuse to allow mine and my families world to be torn apart by lies, jealousy, choas. I want to be steadfast in seeking after the Lord, and being set apart.....having a life that is fulfilled and joyful and strong enough to withstand the attacks of the devil.
If not for myself, for my kids. You see, my mom reminded me of something so important yesterday. She said "Melissa, you are a mom now. It's even more important now, that you protect your kids. That you stand up for them, because they don't need to see or hear or be a part of any of this. You need to protect them." and she is right. My kids deserve me walk away. To be bigger. To rise up, and continue to lead a life pleasing to the Lord.
It's a choice. A choice that I'm making, because my kids, my husband, my family, friends and all of those things I listed above deserve to be a priority. And I deserve to be happy.
God wants me to be happy. and I am.
I love you Melissa. I look up to you so much. Your strength is such an encouragement to me! Thank you for being such an incredible sister and friend.
Posted by: Katy Terrano | May 04, 2009 at 12:49 AM
Excellent post Melissa! I'm proud of you for sharing this in such an open setting. It must have felt great to get this off your chest, once and for all. I especially enjoyed the photos of Miss Olivia, how fitting for a post like this. :) Kuddos to you for always being a better person, taking the higher road and to the best of your ability, ignoring the devil!
Posted by: Shauntaye | May 04, 2009 at 10:15 AM
Love you and I'm SO glad we talked last night! I'll be posting soon :) Oh.. and I was reading your "Who am I?" part on your blog and how you don't like sandwiches without mayo... it's funny how two siblings can be so drastically different... Michael can't have mayo anywhere NEAR his sandwiches! haha
Posted by: Melissa | May 05, 2009 at 12:29 PM
Melissa, what a woman you have become! Your post was powerful - the victories you are winning in the spiritual realm are mighty! I'm gonna send you one of my favorite pieces of Flair on FB - "Be the kind of woman that when you get out of bed in the morning, the devil says, 'Aw crap, she's up!'" You are EXACTLY the kind of woman he's afraid of - what a true woman of God you are!
Posted by: Jen Lord | May 08, 2009 at 10:02 PM
Wow. This is so grown up. Maybe one day for me lol... not today though. lol
But seriously, I can take something from reading this into my own life. And rise up and protect myself and the kids that I will have in the future; first off by not being so dang petty anymore. You're a beautiful woman Melissa. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by: sheila | May 11, 2009 at 11:09 PM